Checklists...

Things are moving fast!  We have our home study scheduled for next Saturday, January 24th.  We are going through the checklist today making sure we have everything done that needs to be done to pass the home study.  Then our classes start the next Saturday, January 31st.  "Aunt Tammy" is going to hang out with Lucas that day, she is planning on taking him to a movie and who knows what else.  He is super excited!
We are still trying to sell Lucas on this idea of "getting" a brother or sister.  He over heard us talking in the car last weekend about stuff and interrupted us by saying "Are you guys trying to get me a brother or sister?  If you are, you can stop that right now!"  LOL... He also has announced that he only wants a twin, a boy the exact same age as him.  I know he will be a good big brother, this is all just going to be a big change, we are all a little scared. :)

Family Pictures

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Moving Forward....FINALLY!

I feel like the last year or so we have really been in limbo and trying to decide which route to take in adding another kiddo to our family.  We had looked into getting licensed to do foster care two times before and didn't really have any luck and were actually discouraged from doing it because we were wanting younger kids.  Last July we finally went to an informational meeting that Missouri Baptist Children's home had and once again felt the door was closed on us as they told us that they were understaffed and were giving priority to families that wanted older kids.  We had kind of decided that we would just go the same route that we did with Lucas and go through a private adoption agency.  I just couldn't get my heart into it for some reason, I kept putting off emailing the lady, did not feel motivated to start our family scrapbook, just could not move forward.  Fast forward a few months and out of the blue a lady called us from Cornerstones of Care and said that they had been given our info and wondered if we were interested in starting classes at the end of January in Liberty!  This was totally unexpected as all of the classes I knew about up until now were about 40 minutes from our house (an hour and a half from Rob's work) and were going to be difficult/almost impossible for us to make it to from work.  I made sure to tell the lady clearly that we were only interested in fostering kids that were younger than Lucas and ultimately we hoped to adopt again.  For the first time someone was actually encouraging, she didn't act like that was an issue at all and encouraged us to move forward.  So that is exactly what we have done.  We got our fingerprints done last week, we are arranging to get our home study done and will start licensing classes on Saturdays starting at the end of January.
I would love to say that I feel totally at peace with this decision and know that it will all work out just they way I dream it will. While I do feel we are being led in this direction, I have to admit it is SO scary.  A million fears/questions crowd into my mind if I let them.  What if I fall in love with a baby and then it gets taken away?  What effect will this have on Lucas?  How will I explain it to Lucas if someone he gets to love as a brother or sister suddenly has to leave?  What if we get a child that is too difficult for us to deal with?  I have to remind myself of a realization I had last spring.... I talked to a friend on the phone after she had recently had a miscarriage.  It was heartbreaking.  I realized through talking to her that no matter what means you go through to have children in your family, there is a risk of heartbreak.  Whether you get pregnant and have a miscarriage, have a baby and it dies, go through the adoption process and the birth mom changes her mind at the last minute, do foster care and the child is reconciled with their family.  Whatever your path is, the truth is that we are not in control.  God is the one who has the power to give and take away.  I can not let my fear of losing a child keep me from loving them at all.  Whatever amount of time we are given to love a kiddo, we will take it and be thankful for a chance to love them.  We can't know God's plan and we can't not do something we know we are supposed to do because we are frozen in our fear.  So here we go, we are embarking on our next adventure as a family and have no idea where this will lead us.  We are scared, excited, worried,  hopeful, and ready! I guess this is what faith really is, right?

Our Story, so far... :)

This is my second attempt at keeping a blog about our family.  I accidentally deleted the last one a year or so ago and am just now getting around to starting a new one.  Luckily I had copied and pasted all of the posts I had made around the time we adopted Lucas for his baby book, so I am going to copy and paste them back in here for you to read and get caught up on our background.